November 2009
47 posts
October 2009
61 posts
Fla. wildlife officer loses gator at show and tell →
PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Officials say a Florida Panhandle Fish and Wildlife officer lost a 5-foot alligator after bringing it to his daughter’s school for show and tell.
Whoops.
EDSBS » INTELLIGENCE REPORT, WEEK NINE →
Florida should get Brandon Spikes back from a groin injury for the Coke Orgy. Georgia will not sit offensive lineman Vince Vance for his arrest for driving without a license because, seriously, it’s the Cocktail Party and it’s a driving offense. 85 degrees for the high, chance of rain with a 70% chance of aerosolized alcohol clouds intoxicating bystanders randomly. Be advised.
They Know How to Party →
Back on Monday, former Republican state representative and now assistant Attorney General Roland Corning was on his lunch break when a police officer found him parked his Ford Explorer at Elmwood Cemetery with an 18 year old stripper from the Platinum Plus Gentlemen’s Club, a bag of sex toys and at least one dose of Viagra.
Local police were apparently on the look out because the cemetery...
3 tags
Can we just retire "plethora"?
yogisarah:
3 Amigos reblog!!
wellrespected:
nerdshares:
ekswitaj:
nerdshares:
Smart people of the world: I know you are smart. No need to use this word. Let me introduce my good friends, “many” and “several.”
Are we allowed to use it on occasion for alliteration’s sake?
I allow you. (Jokess!) I really mean it shouldn’t be a go-to word to prove your intelligence when a simpler word...
“Excuse me Reverend, as long as two people love each other, I don’t think God...”
– Marge Simpson (via hunsonisgroovy, teejayhanton)
Ex-N.F.L. Executive Sounds Alarm on Head Injury →
Culverhouse looked at disability forms, listened to stories, offered counsel and expressed regret. She has done the same via telephone for another half-dozen former Buccaneers in their 40s or 50s who have increasing cognitive problems. Having followed story after story detailing how National Football League retirees are experiencing various forms of dementia at several times the national rate,...
“Dear Harry Reid: Olympia Snowe is Lucy with the football; it’s not worth...”
– Anonymous Liberal
Need an amputee to complete my Halloween costume →
So this might seem strange and really offensive to some but hopefully someone will reply. I have always loved the scene in Empire Strikes Back where Chewbacca has to carry around a half reconstructed C3PO in a backpack because he hasn’t reattached his lower body yet. For Halloween I would love to dress up like this. I am big enough and strong enough to both pull off the Chewbacca look and...
“So, when things started falling apart in Austin on Saturday night, Dan Hawkins...”
– Colorado coach Dan Hawkins benches his son, Cody Hawkins - NCAA Football - SI.com
am i the only one who thinks that a coach willing pull his own flesh and blood off the field and onto the bench is probably pretty fucking awesome?
(via dcwhip)
He’s turned out to be a shitty coach. Colorado...
“The investment community feels very put-upon. They feel there is no reason why...”
– Dr. Daniel E. Fass
I think I speak for a good many people when I say the investment community can go die in a fire.
“We don’t know. Go hug someone. Don’t stab people. Be human. Avoid being a total...”
– Orson Swindle
“Jim Cramer just told Chris Matthews that we are going to have a great retail...”
– John Cole (via azspot)
Britney Spears named 'Best Celebrity Mom' →
Not from The Onion
“I don’t do interracial marriages because I don’t want to put children in a...”
– The Associated Press: Interracial couple denied marriage license in La. (via harrislacewell)(via sexartandpolitics)(via howidisappear) (via robot-heart-politics)
He’s right. The children will suffer later. They’ll go to Columbia, Harvard Law, and get elected President.
Tonight… We Are All Rush Limbaugh →
southpol:
I’m really at a loss as to the best way to mock this.
No shit. The staff of The Onion are going to be out of work soon.
Part of me wonders if I’ve actually been in a coma the last couple of years. Or maybe I’m trapped in the Matrix.
Things have gone way crazier than I ever thought possible.
Burning bunnies for biofuel? →
The Swedes, those latter-day descendants of bloodthirsty Vikings, have found a new use for rabbits: heating fuel. According toDer Spiegel, stray rabbits in Stockholm are being shot, frozen and then shipped to a heating plant to be incinerated.
In the Swedes’ defense, the bunnies are a menace; a plague of wild and stray pet rabbits is devouring the city’s parks. Some 3,000 have been...
“How can he win the peace prize after killing that fly?”
– damn good mr. jam
“Let baseball fans enjoy their sport. In retirement they will be out antiquing,...”
– edsbs
“When I was sworn into the Marine Corps, I was sworn to uphold the Constitution...”
– Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA)
He would make a lovely corpse.
McDonald's restaurants to open at the Louvre →
(via Super Punch)
Shhh! If you listen closely, you can hear civilization crumbling.
“America must legalize gay marriage & polygamy so that all football...”
– tbogg
“Bobby Bowden refuses to give up his license; he’ll drive this thing as long as...”
– Orson Swindle
